Ever found yourself promising that with the next guy you date you will be honest,
comfortable with yourself and uber confident - showing him who you really are,
warts and all?
Maybe you’re at the other end of the scale and you dropped the EX bomb on the
first date - never got chance to have a ‘lighter’ conversation on the next date because
he left so fast he left a man shaped hole in the door. Leaving you with a pitiful half
drunken pint on the table and some awkward looking bar staff - reminding you that
there was potential sat there only moments ago, and your big honest motormouth
blew it.
Many of us burn our lonely little brains out desperately trying to present the best us.
The ‘us’ we think that Mr or Mrs Right will want. The ‘us’ that walks into a date in slow
motion with a shiny lip and swooshy hair. The ‘us’ that appeals to each and every single
one of our potential dates.
Many of us do this because we want the best catch. The best fishermen use the best
bait right?
I remember my friend Kayleigh once sat for three hours desperately trying to write a
profile for herself on a local dating website. When we saw her work, we thought
someone else had stolen her picture! My friend with a strong desire for a family in
the near future who loves her family and has a horse, had turned into some weird
animal fetishist with a terrible sense of humour and a way too out there sexiness for
a public profile. Not sexy, just sex. What was she thinking! She is gorgeous, funny and
very much the girl next door every guy would love to come home to every night. The
poor love had scrutinised herself for hours, browsing other girls profiles thinking she
wasn’t fun or single or pretty enough. She completely changed her digital self to
match these other singletons.
Can I let you in on a secret? There is such a thing as TLI. Wondering what I’m talking
about?
Well we all know what TMI is - too much information. TLI is quite simply - too little
information.
Two opposite ends of the scale that rewards you with nothing but a queue of dates
that will probably fizzle out the moment they learn about the real you.
Think of it like writing a C.V. You don’t put on there - name, telephone number and the
jobs you have worked, with no job descriptions or personal statement. Nor do you write
in your about me section that the last employer ended your position because you
refused to stop checking your lipgloss in front of clients!
Aim for TRI.
The right information.
This culminates in a balance of facts and fun i.e. I ‘desperately want children before I
am 30’ turns into – ‘family mean a lot to me, my genepool is too good to waste’ :P. Be cheeky by all means, just don’t put pressure on yourself to appear cheeky.
‘We get by with a little help from our friends’
Before writing your profile -
● Have your friends describe you in three words - once you have agreed on the
words elaborate on them and sentences will start to form.
● Have your friends and family describe the things most important to you - you may
not have realised how you come across to everyone else. Are looks as important to you
as they seem? Do you want potential dates to think that?
● Have friends help you choose your picture. Never be too posy, remember they will
be seeing you in normal light with your face pulling normal everyday expressions!
So ladies - don’t over think it. Remember - middle ground is good. Be confident enough
to avoid TLI and enjoy not being blabbermouth TMI girl too. Get your TRI on - a date
with a person who you know has already seen the real you is a lot less scary than one
who has only seen duck face sexy lexy who loves a night out with the girls.
We ended up intervening with our friend Kayleigh, who is now quite the success story
by the way! Someone else agreed her genepool was too good to waste and she now
has plans for that perfect family.
So ladies don’t despair - using TRI will get you there!
Find Lisa on Facebook
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