 | ||
Photograph: iStock photo
Is your marriage on life support?
At a certain age, many couples barely connect and walk away from keeping the love going, settling for a daily existence of parallel lives. Worn out by the ongoing grind of life, many of us stay for the kids, for financial reasons, or simply feel too overwhelmed and frightened to disrupt a long relationship and start over.
With the divorce rates for first marriages consistently remaining in the 40-60% range, and for second marriages at 65-75%, it is evident that as a society we have been failing miserably at keeping long term relationships healthy and happy. So how is it that we lose the love found long ago and let our marriages deteriorate and go off line?
It’s possible to repair the foundation and rejuvenate marriage.. Refreshing your commitment and working diligently at repairing it can bring back the joy.
R-E-S-P-E-C-T – Your North Star
Re-commit to 100% respect: it is the essential foundation of a happy, loving marriage and from it all else flows. Disrespectful, hurtful, devaluing, or verbally abusive communication has to be off limits, period.
Re-commit to 100% respect: it is the essential foundation of a happy, loving marriage and from it all else flows. Disrespectful, hurtful, devaluing, or verbally abusive communication has to be off limits, period.
Fix “Crashes” ASAP
Repair hurts and conflict quickly. Differences are a part of all relationships. Find a constructive way to say what you need to say, get the “software” back up and running, and move on. Don’t hold feelings in for long periods of time.
Repair hurts and conflict quickly. Differences are a part of all relationships. Find a constructive way to say what you need to say, get the “software” back up and running, and move on. Don’t hold feelings in for long periods of time.
The Most Important Three Little Words: Thanks, I Will
Let your spouse’s feedback change you for the better. Simply say “Thank you for telling me what I am doing, and I will do better.” Think about your part in conflicts, be responsible for your behavior, and change it.
Let your spouse’s feedback change you for the better. Simply say “Thank you for telling me what I am doing, and I will do better.” Think about your part in conflicts, be responsible for your behavior, and change it.
Gimme Five Please
Give your partner five loving acts of kindness per day. Focus on what you can GIVE not what you can get: hugs, kisses, greetings upon waking, arriving home, and at bedtime and that’s three already. Small acts of love and kindness each day reinforce closeness.
Give your partner five loving acts of kindness per day. Focus on what you can GIVE not what you can get: hugs, kisses, greetings upon waking, arriving home, and at bedtime and that’s three already. Small acts of love and kindness each day reinforce closeness.
Ham it Up
Re-invent the fun you had in the dating years. When was the last time you jumped in puddles in the rain together, or had a picnic by the living room fire place? Fun and humor can help you repair even the toughest of times.
Re-invent the fun you had in the dating years. When was the last time you jumped in puddles in the rain together, or had a picnic by the living room fire place? Fun and humor can help you repair even the toughest of times.
Be Solution Finders
Change your focus away from problems. Focus on what is going well in your marriage and do more of it. Pay attention what each of you is doing that you like and that helps to resolve differences. Compliment each other every chance you get.
Change your focus away from problems. Focus on what is going well in your marriage and do more of it. Pay attention what each of you is doing that you like and that helps to resolve differences. Compliment each other every chance you get.
Long term relationships are bound to stagnate without consistent action to keep them thriving. There is no “magic bullet,” but with daily awareness you can keep your marriage flourishing… and off life support.
No comments:
Post a Comment