Reboot Your Relationship Seminar - Fight for Connection
February 22nd, 2014
Ever meet that couple that’s been married for years that says proudly, “We never fight!” Um, yeah. That’s often (not always) a yellow flag for me. After I spend time with these folks it turns out that under their “polite” demeanor, they are afraid of the C word. While this couple can claim they have no baggage because they don’t fight, it’s more that they implicitly agreed to stuff the baggage they do have in the attic or the basement in service of keeping whatever connection they have in tact. This type of marriage is typically a bit stale or flat. Best buds and roomies.
It’s understandable why a lot of us behave like this, hold back, and avoid conflict since most of us grew up with very limited teaching around how to really do this conflict stuff.
But the truth is conflict is a critical skill to learn in a long-term partnership. Fighting is a must. I’m not talking about fists and aggression. I’m talking about learning how to fight well in a strong, loving way. When we do this, our love grows and deepens. We model to our kids how to stand up for themselves and respect themselves. We model self-loving boundaries. We learn this wild dance between self and other and how to really love someone. We learn tools that help us move closer to each other when we'd rather shut down or run away. Our relationship life expands as we re-pattern our nervous systems. And, on and on.
So, if you are up for learning more, we’ll dive into this terrain one week from today. Please come join the…..fun?? Here's the email for more info and to RSVP. jwhitcomb@paznaz.org
Cheers, Joe
February 22nd, 2014
Ever meet that couple that’s been married for years that says proudly, “We never fight!” Um, yeah. That’s often (not always) a yellow flag for me. After I spend time with these folks it turns out that under their “polite” demeanor, they are afraid of the C word. While this couple can claim they have no baggage because they don’t fight, it’s more that they implicitly agreed to stuff the baggage they do have in the attic or the basement in service of keeping whatever connection they have in tact. This type of marriage is typically a bit stale or flat. Best buds and roomies.
It’s understandable why a lot of us behave like this, hold back, and avoid conflict since most of us grew up with very limited teaching around how to really do this conflict stuff.
But the truth is conflict is a critical skill to learn in a long-term partnership. Fighting is a must. I’m not talking about fists and aggression. I’m talking about learning how to fight well in a strong, loving way. When we do this, our love grows and deepens. We model to our kids how to stand up for themselves and respect themselves. We model self-loving boundaries. We learn this wild dance between self and other and how to really love someone. We learn tools that help us move closer to each other when we'd rather shut down or run away. Our relationship life expands as we re-pattern our nervous systems. And, on and on.
So, if you are up for learning more, we’ll dive into this terrain one week from today. Please come join the…..fun?? Here's the email for more info and to RSVP. jwhitcomb@paznaz.org
Cheers, Joe
No comments:
Post a Comment