When you cried during It's a Wonderful Life, part of you knew you were onto something. There was a time when you knew, really knew, that chaining up a dog was mean and no adult could tell you otherwise. We begin our compass dead center, but slowly we stop trusting it and it gets off track. We can fix it. This isn't about liberating dogs or crying at movies, it is about putting your heart where it belongs, being the person you know you were meant to be, the one you probably were when you were 7 years old.

I want to thank all of my wonderful friends who have reminded me of who I am, where I am going, what I stand for, what I fight for and my "higher purpose!" You know who you are... I love your heart! True Love! Joe

Thrive...don't just survive

If a couple wants to thrive and really deepen over the long haul, they must have two pieces in place: 

1) shared context and 
2) share language/tools. 

In other words, if one person is growing and the other isn’t, it’s not going to work. One will simply outgrow the other. One will feel judged while the other will feel unmet. Of course, if the couple wants to stay in this type of relationship, they could make it work if the growth-oriented person chooses to abandon themselves and collude with the less growth-oriented person’s fear. “I love you so much, I will stop growing for you.” This “agree to disagree” approach is complacency rooted in fear for both parties. If they do try to make it work, it leads to endless frustration and struggle or, an overall giving up, settling, and checking out. I see it often. And, there’s another way. Believe it or not, I can have what I want relationally. It’s true. And it requires that I love myself much deeper than I thought was possible and that I heal my own past that is showing up in the present. If we commit to this, the game of getting the other person to love us the just right way, ends. 

Joe Whitcomb, PsyDc, LMFT
www.relationshipsociety.com
www.facebook.com/therelationshipsociety
310-560-0726

Wabi Sabi Love - Perfect Love with Imperfect People

Wabi Sabi Love!

One of the WE Principles we teach our Couples in our 3-days to relationship transformation is the concept of Wabi Sabi!!! Discover more at www.relationshipsociety.com and www.infidelitycoach.net

What is Wabi Sabi?

It is an ancient Japanese art form that honors all things old, weathered, worn, imperfect, and impermanent by finding the beauty in the imperfections. For instance, if you had a large vase with a big crack down the middle of it, a Japanese art museum would put the vase on a pedestal and shine a light on the crack, or they might fill the crack with 24k gold!

Wabi Sabi Love is devoted to exploring the simple, fun, and effective ways to apply this concept to our love relationships through stories and experiential exercises that demonstrate how to attain groundbreaking shifts in perception and managing our expectations so that you can embrace and find the beauty and perfection in each other’s imperfections. WE call this “going from annoyed to enjoyed”!

Wabi Sabi!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FvR3dQxfv7w

Wabi Sabi Love Perfect Love with Imperfect People Relationships

Prepare Enrich - Training & Certification Workshop

Do you have a passion for coaching and counseling couples? 

Are you a pastor, minister, faith-based MFT, marriage mentor, psychologist? 

Get certification with Prepare-Enrich for $175 for individuals and $195 for couples. 

Join us November 16th, 2013 8:30am - 4:00pm 

for a one-day training event in Pasadena, CA. 

Click Here to Register Now!

_____________________________________________________________________

Joe Whitcomb, CEO of The Relationship Society is offering a one day training program for Premarital and Marital Assessment and Mentoring Training by Prepare/Enrich: www.prepare-enrich.com

PREPARE/ENRICH can help couples:

• Explore strength and growth areas
• Strengthen communications skills
• Identify and manage major stressors
• Resolve conflicts using the Ten Step Model
• Develop a more balanced relationship
• Explore family of origin issues
• Discuss financial planning and budgeting
• Establish personal, couple and family goals
• Understand and appreciate personality differences and maximize teamwork

PREPARE/ENRICH is a customized couple assessment completed online that identifies a couple's strength and growth areas. Based on a couple's assessment results, a trained facilitator provides 4-8 feedback sessions in which the facilitator helps the couple discuss and understand their results as they are taught proven relationship skills.

Over 2.5 million couples have taken the PREPARE/ENRICH program (5 million people) since it began in 1980.

Different relationship areas are assessed by the Inventories, including:

• 12 Relationship Scales — communication, conflict resolution, roles, sexuality, finances, spiritual beliefs and more
• 5 SCOPE Personality Scales
• 4 Couple and Family Scales — based on the circumplex model
• 4 Relationship Dynamic Scales
• 30 Customized Scales

The PREPARE/ENRICH program is valid & reliable:
An important strength of the PREPARE/ENRICH Inventories is their strong psychometric properties. High levels of reliability and validity have been found for each instrument, making them valuable tools for research as well as clinical use. National Norms based on over 500,000 couples

PREPARE/ENRICH has validity in that it discriminates premarital couples that get divorced from those that are happily married with about 80-85% accuracy. Reliability is high (alpha reliability of .80 - .85).

So who uses PREPARE/ENRICH?
The inventories have been utilized by over 75,000 trained clergy members, professional counselors, mentors, and marriage educators throughout the U.S. Over 2.5 million couples have taken a PREPARE/ENRICH inventory and worked through their results under the guidance of one of our trained facilitators.

How do clergy, marriage mentors, or a marriage educator get trained to use PREPARE/ENRICH?
The 1-day training includes all the materials you will need to get started using PREPARE/ENRICH in your community, as well as a complimentary online scoring credit. The price of this workshop is $175 for an individual, and just an additional $20 to bring your spouse. 

Register today for this incredible program!

___________________

Joe Whitcomb, PsyDc, LMFT
Psychotherapist, author, and educator
www.relationshipsociety.com
Los Angeles, CA
310-560-0726

Recapture Your Desire!

Recapture Your Desire

We all have things we want at a deep and intense level: a better career, a hobby that we are passionate about, a great relationship. But when life takes over, and we encounter failure, it's easy to give up on desire and settle for less. We think:

"Things are ok now, and they could be a lot worse." 

That is a sad mentality. We stop putting energy into new and desirable goals. It is like being half alive and half dead. Life is more than that. Get some time for yourself and write out some of the things you truly desire. Most of us won't get all of them. I know I haven't yet. But you are a lot closer to making some of them into reality than never having the desire in the first place.

___________________

Joe Whitcomb, PsyDc, LMFT
Psychotherapist, author, and educator
www.relationshipsociety.com
Los Angeles, CA
310-560-0726

Any Time is a Good Time to Say, "I Love You"

To strengthen the fondness and admiration in your relationship, express appreciation and respect. Do not underestimate the power of saying "I love you."

___________________

Joe Whitcomb, PsyDc, LMFT
Psychotherapist, author, and educator
www.relationshipsociety.com
Los Angeles, CA
310-560-0726

Free Relationship Seminar: Reboot Your Relationship

Free Relationship Seminar: Reboot Your Relationship 
Saturday, November 9th, 2013 from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. 
Joe Whitcomb, PsyDc, Licensed Psychotherapist, Author and Educator
First Church of the Nazarene - 
3700 E. Sierra Madre Blvd, Reed Hall, Pasadena, CA 91107
To register please email me at relationshipsociety@gmail.com or call 310-560-0726.

Four reasons I am passionate about, and teach, relationship stuff: 
1) It was my greatest pain point for most of my life,
2) it's also the source of my greatest pleasure in life,
3) It's the gnarliest, most adventurous hero's journey i've experienced, and
4) So I can hold myself to the fire of the work. Like some of you, I have that part of me that would rather avoid, blame, fall asleep, and distance in relationship. 

In other words, by teaching and facilitating the work, it keeps me accountable. And, when I don’t live what I teach it’s the kind of awful feeling that motivates me into action, back into my personal integrity. So, if you can relate and want tools, community, and accountability, please join me on November 9th, 2013 as I share Reboot Your Relationship as part of the Path work. It’s a fairly direct (and sometimes very painful) approach to burn through your relationship challenges (If you are a parent, you get to hear about the double burn).

I look forward to seeing everyone there - Cheers! Joe Vim Whitcomb
Joe Whitcomb MA Mft

The Relationship Society, CEO Joe Whitcomb - Psychotherapist, Author of Reboot Your Relationship, Social Entrepreneur

Joe Whitcomb, PsyDc, LMFT

Joe Whitcomb, PsyDc, LMFT
CEO and Founder of The Relationship Society

Joe Whitcomb brings more than 20 years of relevant experience to his work as a relationship coach and therapist. With a focus on helping couples connect and communicate at deeper levels, Joe provides effective tools for putting the fun and excitement back into relationships using his proven multidisciplinary approach. Joe earned a B.S. in Psychology with an emphasis in Neuroscience from the University of Maryland College Park. He holds a M.A. in Clinical Psychology and Marriage and Family Therapy from Pepperdine University and a Doctoral Candidate in Psychology and Marriage and Family Therapy from The Chicago School of Professional Psychology.

Joe’s understanding of the complex nuances presented in modern relationships makes him a respected expert on personal development and interpersonal relationships. Building on his belief that everyone is entitled to the power and freedom that come from a healthy relationship, Joe delivers a customized program filled with techniques that couples can use for the rest of their lives. By combining his formal education with his real world experiences, Joe guides couples through his signature E3 process, which is Experiential, Empowering, and Entertaining. Expanding beyond traditional methods, Joe assists clients facing a variety of challenges including infidelity, communication blocks, blended families, empty nest syndrome, and more.

Couples work with Joe to honestly assess their relationship and learn new behaviors and techniques for relating to each other. After helping more than 2,000 couples navigate their relationship challenges, Joe wanted to find a way to support even more people who want to experience the joy of authentic, loving relationships. His vision came alive when he created The Relationship Society, a progressive community designed to address the loss of social capital and relational connectedness in today’s society. As a safe space for successful individuals to find relationship strategies and resources, The Relationship Society is a premier collective of subject matter experts and thought leaders assisting members with their personal and relational growth. The Relationship Society’s flagship seminars include the WE² and WE³ programs which are multiple day intensives for couples who want to experience more intimacy and address any challenges in their relationships. Couples consistently report enjoying more intimacy and better communication after experiencing these events.

Academic Background:

A lifelong learner and lover of adventure, Joe enjoys spending time with his children and granddaughter and also finds time for sky diving, dancing, and cycling.

Chicago School of Professional Psychology
Doctorate of Psychology in Marriage and Family Therapy (2013)

Pepperdine University
Masters of Arts in Clinical Psychology

University of Maryland
BS in Psychology

University of Phoenix
BS Organizational Management and MBA in Health Care Management

College of Executive Coaching
Certified Executive and Life Coach

Fuller Seminary
Certified in Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy

"Freaking Out..."

“I’d like to say something to her without her freaking out.” 

Why’s her reaction a problem? What’s wrong with your partner freaking out? 

Most folks have it that the reason they hold back their truth in relationship is because their partner can’t handle it or will get too upset. Sorry folks, but the main reason many of us hold back is that we are afraid. Afraid of what? A few things, but mainly our reaction to their reaction. We are afraid of our own stuff that gets triggered when they get triggered. This is the enmeshed stance in relationship. “I can’t be me because I might upset you, so I’ll protect myself and withhold what I really want to say.” Meanwhile I rob them the opportunity to grow by not saying anything. So what if the other person gets upset? That is their problem, not yours (and, if we are on it, we can make space for their reactivity and love them through it). We have to learn how to be smarter and more courageous than this in relationship, especially if we care about being who we truly are, and especially if we really do love the other person. Let's give them a chance and trust they can handle who we are.  


Joe Whitcomb, PsyDc, LMFT
Licensed Psychotherapist, Author, and Educator
CEO, The Relationship Society
www.relationshipsociety.com
www.facebook.com/therelationshipsociety
Los Angeles, CA 
310-560-0726

Reboot Your Relationship

Conflict avoidant couples who wanna feel good all the time, spend a huge amount of energy keeping the shadow of their relationship at bay. 

These fearful couples tend to get comfy in complacency and justify it by tucking things under the rug. If we spend time with this couple and learn about them, typically there’s a very valid reason for this level of hiding. But if they have the courage to look into each other’s eyes, into what’s really going on, and share uncomfortable truths, they might discover, below any blame, that one or both feel adrift, alone, pissed, less connected, even hurt, or simply scared. If willing, they often find that they are avoiding and blocking the very issues that could take them deeper, and the very issues that could have them feeling more alive and connected to themselves. This level of honesty breathes in new life and opens new doors with new possibilities.

Intimacy is so confronting
It’s so vulnerable
It’s so awesome 

...and, when one of us takes a risk and reveals ourselves, like how scared we are as we gaze into their eyes, we step into the unknown mystery of intimacy in that very moment. We are no longer living in fear because we are willing to talk about it openly as it’s arising in us. Our connection that was brittle or stale before, now has a drop of water or a ray of sunshine.
_______________________

Joe Whitcomb, PsyDc, LMFT
Psychotherapist, author, and educator
www.relationshipsociety.com
Los Angeles, CA
310-560-0726

Commit to change...

We live in a world of constant demand and challenge, where people’s responsibilities seem to be never ending and where change is constant. Most people really want to make their life better—they aren’t willing to settle, but they simply don’t know where to begin. 

Whether it’s their body, emotions, relationship, or finances, if you give yourself this gift and make an investment in yourself, the rewards will be everlasting. I challenge you to become one the few who commit, versus the many who talk.

Start your journey now to create the specific results you desire and deserve in your life. Ultimately, this will affect the level of excitement, joy, happiness, and fulfillment you have in your life.

See you in session!

Savannah

Founder & Coach

Www.infidelityrecoveryinstitute.com