Spotting Money Trouble in Marriage Before It Starts

Spotting Money Trouble in Marriage Before It Starts

If you are like most couples, at some point during your wedding ceremony you vowed to love your spouse “till death do us part.” However, in today’s financial and spiritual atmosphere one wonders if that might need to be changed to “till debt do us part.”. Psychology Today author Preston Ni asserts that people are not divorcing because of money problems, though. Stating instead that a general financial incompatibility between people often leads to the endless haggling over money issues. Those issues then strain all other areas of the marriage.

The above passage asks us a vital marital question. If you think your marriage might be coming under attack in the financial realm, here are a few signs to look for in yourself and in your spouse that could be clues that it’s time to seek Christian financial counseling.

The Blame Game

When couples are constantly blaming financial failures on one another they might be headed for trouble. As the old saying goes, “It takes two to tango,” and often it takes two to get yourself in a financial mess as well. Even if you feel you are justifiably not the one responsible for financial failures, you are Biblically required to be a helper to your spouse in times of trouble. Ephesians 5 tells us that wives are to submit to their husbands and husbands are to love their wives. Marriage is a partnership, and as tough as it may seem, if your spouse is in trouble you are in trouble too. The only way through the trouble is through unity.

Financial Dishonesty

Do you hide your spending from your spouse? This is one of the earliest signs that the two of you are not on the same money page. Lying about purchases, hiding receipts, opening secret accounts, and hoarding money away from your spouse all indicate that you feel you cannot trust your spouse or that you are not to be trusted yourself. Either way, this is a serious red flag because trust issues are a cornerstone in all aspects of marriage

Constant Suspicion

Perhaps you are not the one hiding money secrets, but you constantly find yourself feeling suspicious of your spouse’s financial activities. Living in a constant state of suspicion can be very damaging to all aspects of your marriage. Once you start losing trust in your spouse concerning money, you will begin to doubt them in other areas and this will put you on the defense. You need to ask yourself if there is valid reason for the suspicion and, if so, have a serious discussion.

Different Directions

Another warning sign that money is threatening your marriage is if you and your spouse are more often than not headed in different directions with your financial goals. This is a big one, because as couples get older they will become more dependent on one another. If the two of you have different ideas about retirement and your kid’s college funding, you could find yourselves in some not so fun situations in a few years.

Christian financial counseling early on, before the blow up, can go a long way to helping a couple get back on the same path together. If difficulties have already struck, contact FaithWorks Financial to learn about the Christian Debt Relief programs that may help you avoid turning financial disaster into relationship disaster.